Attention:

This is a piece of paper. This is an awesome piece of paper. This is an extremely awesome piece of paper. You can not deny its awesomeness. You can not deny its extreme awesomeness. This is an extreme piece of paper. Wonder what makes it so extreme? It does extreme sports. It goes extreme bungee jumping. It goes extreme skydiving. It attends extreme eating competitions. It’s met Oprah one hundred and seventy six times. It’s also very very awesome for a lot of reasons. It’s met the president six times. Not the current one. Oh no. The next one. That’s right, it knows who the next president is. If you thought a black president would be revolutionary, just you wait. That is why it is an extremely awesome piece of paper. Do not deny the most extreme awesomeness of this piece of paper. IF you deny the most extremely awesome piece of paper, you will be banished to a world of unawesome extremity and where paper, just like this extremely awesome piece of paper will cease to exist. Said world will not have extremely awesome paper, extreme skydiving, extreme eating competitions, extreme bungee jumping, Oprah or the paper’s uncle, the fortune telling piece of paper who knows who the next president will be. Wouldn’t that be horrible? Wouldn’t that be just wretched? Wouldn’t that make you want to punch little tiny baby kittens? Yes. Yes it would. So if you would be so kind as to put this letter back on the props cart along with all the paper’s other friends, family, extended family and strangers it has never met, you will not be sent to a world filled with unawesomeness and no extremely awesome paper. Wouldn’t that be nice? Yes. Thank you for noticing this notice. Your noticing has also been noticed by many others while you are reading this. The cast knows you have read this. Good luck on stage.

From the Desk of:
The One and Only Mister Roberts Props Goddess and Crew